Am I Disobeying My Husband by Attending University Without Permission?
Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
Question
Is it considered disobedience (nushuz) if I attend my university despite my husband’s temporary prohibition, given that he agreed in our marriage contract to allow me to complete my studies, and attending classes is mandatory for my degree?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.
Yes, this will be considered a form of disobedience (nushuz) if you were to attend. He has stopped you from going temporarily. Try to work out a compromise and sit down with a third-party mediator, like a local reliable scholar or a practicing Muslim.
Leaving Without Husband’s Approval
The matter is a wife is not allowed to leave her husband’s house without his consent. Allah (Most High) says: “As for those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first)…” [Quran, 4:34]
The Quran commentators have explained the word ‘Nushuz’ (disloyalty) in the verse as a woman who is disobedient to her husband in things she is required to obey him, especially leaving the house without his permission.
The jurists (fuqaha) have stated that a woman who leaves her husband’s house without his permission (nashiza). [Mawsili, al-Ikhtiyar]
Compromise
This is a situation where you and your husband have to compromise so that you can fulfill each other’s rights and family circumstances.
If you postpone going to university for now, you might feel like you are not being allowed. If allowed, would you be able to fulfill your husband’s rights and live an everyday life? The same would go for the husband; what are his reasons and family circumstances? So, it all comes down to sitting down and agreeing on when it would be best for the sake of family harmony overall.
Istishara and Istikhara
Allah (Most High) has given us a religion with comprehensive guidelines for overcoming situations through istikhara (seeking advice and consultation) and seeking goodness through prayers and duas (istikhara). I would advise you to go through these two channels and come to a compromised situation. Ibn Ata’ Illah said, “Nothing is difficult if you seek it through your Lord, and nothing is easy if you seek it through yourself.”
Pray to Allah (Most High) to facilitate compromise and reconciliation between you for the sake of marriage and going forward.
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. In sha Allah, you will receive guidance and direction.
Related
- Why Do Marriage Contracts and Agreements Matter?
- Is It True That a Man Can Prevent His Wife From Leaving the House for No Reason?
- How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)? – SeekersGuidance
Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on SeekersAcademy (seekersguidance.org)?
I pray this helps answer your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.
