Am I Sinful for Getting Lost in Sexual Thoughts?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

Being an unmarried male I periodically get sexual thoughts, some instances, I overcome and forget about them; other times, the struggle is not enough, and it causes me to fantasize.

These thoughts are never of any specific person but rather a fantasy of a time when there will be a spouse (insha’Allah). I do not bring up these thoughts myself; they only occur persistently before indulgence. It does not cause me to reach greater sins.

Still, I can guess it is never encouraged to indulge in them, but I have no idea whether I become sinful through indulging in this or this is something from mildly disliked (makruh tanzihan)

Also, even if it is the latter, would this be spiritually damaging to the heart and can harden it?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for reaching out in such an essential part of your life and seeking guidance.

As a young person, bachelor, and maybe in your teens or past. These thoughts can be going through one’s mind. It is how you react and challenge them. So far, you are doing fine. Just forget about the past ways you went about them and seek repentance and forgiveness.

Know that what is forbidden to do is likewise forbidden as an object of reflection. Divert your mind from doing things that will busy you and away from this, like stand up and do wudu, pray two raka’, read the Quran, always try to be in good company, and looking forward to being with them, attending the local daily prayers, attending circles of knowledge and remembrance, ring someone, talk to someone, etc. These are just simple measures.

I advise you the first step is to turn to Allah Most High and ask Him for help and guidance in all your matters, seeking His refuge and protection from shaytan, trying to keep your mind and body positive and preoccupied with doing things that will form and build you for the future, like purifying your heart, studying well and excelling in your secular and Islamic studies. At the same time, look forward to being married, a successful marriage lies only in how you build and form yourself from now.

Do the following things:

• Supplicate for protection reciting tawwudh: أَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ اَلرَّجِيمِ

Shakal ibn Humayd (Allah be pleased with him) reported, I came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and giveh im peace) and I said, “O Messenger of Allah, teach me to seek refuge that by it I may seek refuge.” The Prophet took me by the hand and he said,

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ سَمْعِي وَمِنْ شَرِّ بَصَرِي وَمِنْ شَرِّ لِسَانِي وَمِنْ شَرِّ قَلْبِي وَمِنْ شَرِّ مَنِيِّي

“Say: O Allah, I seek refuge in You from the evil of my hearing, from the evil of my seeing, from the evil of my tongue, from the evil in my heart, and from the evil of my seed (meaning his carnal passions).” [Tirmidhi]

• Perform two raka’ turning to Allah Most High
• Fast Mondays and Thursdays or the Three days of each Month

Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) reported: The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Marriage is part of my Sunnah. Whoever does not act upon my Sunnah is not part of me. Give each other in marriage, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him contract a marriage. Whoever does not have the means should fast, as fasting will restrain his impulses.” [Ibn Maja]

I pray to Allah Most High to give you success, ease, and guidance every moment of your life and keep you engaged and occupied in things that will bring about happiness and goodness of this world and the Hereafter, amin

Check these answers:
sexual thoughts Archives – SeekersGuidance
Purification of the Heart for Youth: Diseases of the Heart and Their Cure – YouTube
The Path of Muhammad: Birgivi’s Manual of Taqwa Explained – YouTube
Purification of the Heart: Signs, Symptoms and Cures of the Spiritual Diseases of the Heart: Hamza Yusuf: 9780985565909: Amazon.com: Books (Book)

Check our youth curriculum as well:
Islamic Studies Youth Curriculum
The Essentials of Belief for Muslim Youth: Necessary Knowledge to Practice Islam
Purification of the Heart for Youth: Diseases of the Heart and Their Cure

Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on SeekersGuidance?
SeekersAcademy (seekersguidance.org)

I pray this helps with your question.

[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied within UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan and Turkey.